Thomas Cruise Mapother IV as Brain Flanagan
Knowing that college is a 'complete waste of time,' Brian takes up smoking ganja, wearing sunglasses all day and night, working tax free in exotic climes and 'boning mant dames'.Bryan Brown as Doug Coughlin
So oversexed and drunk, he can barely remember where he is, or what his name is. Often pees himself and gets his fingers stuck in his ears. He is so fucked he can only function when given copious amounts of cocaine. After which, he is almost his normal self, yet has urges to 'desecrate dance floors!' - whatever that means.Elisabeth Shue as Jordan Mooney
Bubbly blonde shaggy haired chick. Always seems to be wearing the same swimming costume. Does art really badly, but means it. Used to be a baby sitter but she couldn't handle the adventures. Fancies the pants off our Brian - but too famous for a full frontal shot.Gerry Bamman as The Guy Who Says, 'Hey Buddy!'
Suffers form a rare disease known as Saggy Belly Syndrome (or SBS), due to drinking too many of 'those orange things'. It is unsure if his severe baldness is related. After Brian leaves Jamaica, he becomes the seventh member of the voodoo reggae outfit, 'Messenjah'. His nickname is "Bubbles".Some Fat Bloke as The Fat Bloke
Instrumental in pairing Brian with Bonnie. For the significant sum of fifty bucks. The price of fifty 99 cent BK Whoppers (at participating stores). Dies shortly after Doug leaves Jamaica by way of rogue pubic lice. The scene was later cut from the movie for fear of creating hysteria among promiscuous portly men.James Eckhouse as Bald Bloke with One Patch of Hair
Regular at Young Flanagan's bar, stares pensively into questionable looking Bloody Mary. Appears twice, with no credited lines, the second time the camera passes over, he appears frightened and quickly stands to leave the beach bar. Only logical explanation for such a hasty departure is that his double life as Beverly Hills 90210 bigshot father, Mr. Walsh, beckoned a quick return.Luther Hansraj as Owen The Stoned Ambulance Attendant
The wisest of all sages in the universe. Owen does not know who he is most of the time, due to his massive drug intake, but still remains able to perform first aid and drive the ambulance at high speeds. He is also said to be a big fan of Johnny Cash.Kelly Lynch as Doug's Wife Kerry
The most evil creature in the world. Has an irritating habit of marrying people to piss off her parents. Shags around behind her husbands' backs. Sometimes with their best friends. And then eats people. Not even that arse can redeem her evilness.Lisa Baines as Bonnie The Decadent Bourgeois Woman
Silly tart with bubble perm. She apparently has 'FUCK ME' written on her forehead - except on the US TV version of the movie where she has 'LOVE ME' instead. Has so much money she has lost touch with what anything means outside of her social group. She believes carrot juice to be addictive and has a habit of biting the bottom of T-shirts and growling like a miniature dog.Mickey Rourke as Harley Davison
Don Johnson as The Marlboro Man
Mad Rasta as The Mad Rasta
An absolutely mad person who dances around in the streets waving a small bag of potatoes.
